Chicken Soup for the Mao

As I sat in my grease pit today, strange thoughts were creeping into my head as they always do. I seen two flies mating. Stuck to eachother and stuck to the wall. "Bastards", I said, "why are even bothering, you're going to expire tonight anyway as soon as it freezes." Then I threw boiling water at them and figured as a human its my right to kill whatever I want when I want. This was a reflex, and as I do when any action just comes to me, I then reflect and ponder my doings. What rights do I have? In my mind I thought why would they try to be happy anyway, their lives are so short. Then I wondered what a great tortoise would think of us. Our lives are short and meaningless to them, I wonder if they think why would humans even bother conceiving or trying to be happy because to them our life spans are insignificant. Things are as they always are, In the eye of the beholder. Lesson to myself, empathy instead of apathy, as I always tell myself. Sympathy is never really a choice in the dark. This then directed me to think of how people view what I do. Does it seem meaningless or self-righteous. Then I thought about Mao's post. He thinks that in this mustard burp moment that is fleeting, but doesn't realize the good of it for other people. On a timeline of that magnitude a few slips won't be noted in the subscript. Then I thought about the grease plant. MAO, YOU NEED YOUR OWN GREASE PLANT. You need a different dimension that transcends all roles you play daily. Where your not an employee, student, husband, uncle or grandson. For me in my other dimension I can turn on autopilot. My motor skills kick in automatically and my shell stays busy, which leaves my cognitive package to flow freely and ramble at will. I think this also allows everything I am studying to sink through the matter and find a resting place deep in the lobes. If this is not the problem I think I have another solution. I recall what one of the Clancy brothers said to Bob Dylan, as retold by Dylan, "NO FEAR, NO ENVY, NO HATE". For us who traveled through the same alcohol enraged serotonin superhighway that begat us into brotherhood we think alike(I think). There is no fear of failure. This is never an option. On our worst days we can still add and subtract putting us above the cut of fellow classmates. For me personally, the grades I receive are not bad and I'm never mad at myself receiving them, but more hateful that some waterhead got better grades than me. I think this is where the hate comes from. Let this be a lesson to everyone, lets get with the transcendentalists and simplify, or if thats not your catch get with Frankie and relax.