Let me clear my throat
Think back to the days of mid-late eighties. When WWF was cool, (because you were eight). When Hulk Hogan came out of the locker room, he strutted to the tune "I am a real American". That song single handedly made me take my vitamins.
Think back to the monologue at the beginning of the movie Patton. When Patton says, "all real Americans love the sting of battle".
what's the correlation here? No, not sting and hulk Hogan neckers. That Americans like ourselves love conflict. And we all know there is no better way to get a conflict started than over some ladies. I'm not talking about physically battling them because that would be cb. I'm talking about the weekend to weekend struggle, the hunt. Its obvious if you frequent pubs that there is no shortage of drunk women around. And not even drunk for that matter. So why lately have more and more jealous boyfriends, husbands or ex-husbands been on a whining killing spree? Its happened more and more in the past few months in the heartland. What's the cause of it you may ask. Well, I blame it on the root of all evil...crank first and secondly......FM radio. That's right ho I said it. Ever single song I hear lately is the cry babiest p.o.s ever made. The only way to get your song on the radio is to cry more than the other guy. And go ahead and put make-up on. There's no way these guys should act hard, oh but they do. My daddy never hugged me so get outta my way, I might go ahead and break your face today, or I might go cry in the corner and get rich. That's exactly how it is. You know, Bowie didn't wear make-up because he was depressed, he wore make-up because he nailed dudes man. As far as I go I do own a couple of sad Cd's by the singer Elliot Smith, but to me it is genuine and real. It's not manufactured feeling. And to qualify it even more it never sold good. Not to mention the fact that he allegedly killed himself. Elliot Smith is one of my personal favorite songwriters because even though he sound is down and dreary it still makes me want to fight something when I drink. But, back to the point, I listen to man rock baby. I want to hear about fighting, drinking, sexin', shootin', snortin', because that's life baby. If your girl cheats, nail her best friend, mom, sister anything, don't go cry, get a gun and shoot somebody, at least have the balls to shoot yourself because mofo if she's cheating than your the problem. My credentials? I've made out with 5 different girls in the past couple weeks. Two of them have boyfriends. HaHaha. Thanks for all the lessons Diamond Dave, Gen. George S. Patton, and Terry "Hulk" Hogan. I am a real American.
IWCC quote of the day:
"I drive a station wagon because I have to be on that SR-71 insurance until I'm 21."
-that's probably only funny to me and Mao, or probably just me. I spent a lot of time at airshows growing up.
Congrats Buck Wylde:
---happiness comes in all shapes and sizes.........................................Burn.
Think back to the monologue at the beginning of the movie Patton. When Patton says, "all real Americans love the sting of battle".
what's the correlation here? No, not sting and hulk Hogan neckers. That Americans like ourselves love conflict. And we all know there is no better way to get a conflict started than over some ladies. I'm not talking about physically battling them because that would be cb. I'm talking about the weekend to weekend struggle, the hunt. Its obvious if you frequent pubs that there is no shortage of drunk women around. And not even drunk for that matter. So why lately have more and more jealous boyfriends, husbands or ex-husbands been on a whining killing spree? Its happened more and more in the past few months in the heartland. What's the cause of it you may ask. Well, I blame it on the root of all evil...crank first and secondly......FM radio. That's right ho I said it. Ever single song I hear lately is the cry babiest p.o.s ever made. The only way to get your song on the radio is to cry more than the other guy. And go ahead and put make-up on. There's no way these guys should act hard, oh but they do. My daddy never hugged me so get outta my way, I might go ahead and break your face today, or I might go cry in the corner and get rich. That's exactly how it is. You know, Bowie didn't wear make-up because he was depressed, he wore make-up because he nailed dudes man. As far as I go I do own a couple of sad Cd's by the singer Elliot Smith, but to me it is genuine and real. It's not manufactured feeling. And to qualify it even more it never sold good. Not to mention the fact that he allegedly killed himself. Elliot Smith is one of my personal favorite songwriters because even though he sound is down and dreary it still makes me want to fight something when I drink. But, back to the point, I listen to man rock baby. I want to hear about fighting, drinking, sexin', shootin', snortin', because that's life baby. If your girl cheats, nail her best friend, mom, sister anything, don't go cry, get a gun and shoot somebody, at least have the balls to shoot yourself because mofo if she's cheating than your the problem. My credentials? I've made out with 5 different girls in the past couple weeks. Two of them have boyfriends. HaHaha. Thanks for all the lessons Diamond Dave, Gen. George S. Patton, and Terry "Hulk" Hogan. I am a real American.
IWCC quote of the day:
"I drive a station wagon because I have to be on that SR-71 insurance until I'm 21."
-that's probably only funny to me and Mao, or probably just me. I spent a lot of time at airshows growing up.
Congrats Buck Wylde:
---happiness comes in all shapes and sizes.........................................Burn.
posted by troy oz. at 10:03 AM
1 Comments:
"WWF was never cool", says the elitist, Carlin.
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